如何用英语优雅的“骂人”吐槽

I thought of you all day today.

I was at the zoo.

今儿去了动物园，睹物思人，

一整天都很想你。

I would ask you how old you are

but I know you can't count that high.

想问你几岁了还这么傻，

但我知道你数不了这么大数。

As an outsider,



what do you think of the human race?

作为一个局外人，你对我们人类有何看法?

Shock me,

say something intelligent.

来，吓唬吓唬哥，说点有智商的话。

Maybe if you ate some of that makeup

you could be pretty on the inside.

你试试吃点化妆品吧，

没准能增加点内在美。

If brains were dynamite

you wouldn't have enough

to blow your nose.

如果大脑是炸药，

别人都能炸上天，

可你连炸油条都不够。

(blow双关，爆炸/擤鼻子。)

I look into your eyes and

get the feeling nobody is driving.

你的眼神深处有一种无人驾驶的空旷感。

Ordinarily people live and learn.



You just live.

普通人都是活到老学到老。

你只做到了前者。

They said you were a big asset.

I told them they were off by two letters.

人们说你是莎士比亚。

我告诉他们，你们多说了俩字。

(原句asset减掉两个字母是ass，傻逼/混蛋)

God made coke, God made pepsi,

God made me, oh so sexy,

God made rivers, God made lakes,

God made you,...

well we all make mistakes.

上帝造了可口，上帝造了百事，

上帝造出来我，性感之至。

上帝造了河流，上帝造了湖泊，

上帝造出来你...

嗐，孰能无过。

（原句及翻译来自“谷大白话”）



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